Tag Archives: entertainment

JUST WEEKS AWAY – 6th INTERNATIONAL FIBROMYALGIA CONFERENCE 2015

If you have not booked for our 6th  international Fibromyalgia Conference on April 24/27 2015, at Chichester Park Hotel,  it is not too late but  do not waste time. We have a lot of interest. The hotline to book  0844 887 2512.

Once again the cost is as low as we can make it to enable folks to enjoy the education, research news, make new friends, as well as entertainment, fun and laughter. You will have a chance to talk to the speakers personally 1-2-1 – almost a private consultation as part of the conference weekend and you will be among folk who understand your aches and pains. It has been said, “Conference is a great educational and life changing experience”. We aim to please.

If finding the fee is a stumbling block, you could make payment by using your credit card. Why not add it to your Tesco shopping credit card  as a “lend” and pay off a little each month. Paypal will accept  credit cards with an additional 4% charge. If you need help with the process please ask.

When folks talk about fibromyalgia there are several symptoms most of us suffer and  live with. This includes pain 24/7, chronic fatigue, sleeplessness, cognitive behaviour, IBS, morning stiffness,  depression and many more. This conference our experts will be highlighting some of these symptoms. With a wide and varied programme around the main FM symptoms, we are aiming to help with interesting speakers from the USA, Canada, Australia and the UK.

Iris Weverman, a registered physiotherapist from Canada who specialises in FM, will talk  about chronic fatigue, stiffness and exercise  for fibromyalgia. In her second talk she will discuss trigger points versus tender points … not to be missed.

Dr. Nick Read,  a gastroenterologist psychoanalytical psychotherapist, human nutritionist, interested in FM, will talk about his active involvement in the IBS Network , and integrated medicine.  As a nutritionist we are hoping he will give us a recommended diet for those with IBS.

Andrew Pothecary, a specialist pharmacist in Rheumatology & Biologics at the Royal Cornwall Hospitals NHS Trust, will be  lecturing at The Clinical Pharmacy Congress on the Future of Clinical Pharmacy in London on the Friday. As an old friend, he has agreed to stop over and talk to us on Saturday. We hope to learn more about the medications that our GPs prescribe for fibromites  pains.

Afifah Hamilton, MNIMH Cert Phyt ITEC, GAP practitioner and nutritionist, is an alternative medical practitioner who uses herbal remedies for wellbeing. Afifah is medically trained and a specialist in physical, psychological and conventional treatments with herbal options. She will be discussing sleeplessness  among other symptoms. If you are prone to too  many drugs, you should not miss this presentation.

An American lady with fibromyalgia and a great reputation, will be with us to talk about her commitment for FM. We hope she will include news of research, life with FM in the States and living with fibromyalgia. Jan Chambers is President of the USA National  Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Association, founder of the Centre of Understanding, Research and Education of Fibromyalgia (CURE FM) and co-founder of the NFA Leaders Coalition, Executive Committee. Married for 35 years and the mother of 5 children, Jan has had a roller coaster ride with fibromyalgia since 2005. Her background really makes interesting reading and will save a lot of questions if you are coming to conference. This is a lady who commands my highest respect and I am honoured she has agreed to visit us. Try http://www.fmcpaware.org/jan-chambers. “I’ve got my life back, and I love every minute of it” she said.

Another interesting speaker with big claims is Philip Rafferty. Born in the UK he lives  in Australia and travels the world. A specialist in fibromyalgia, chronic pain and CFS he is a kinesiology ‘wizard’. He claims the corrections he teaches fibromites keeps them out of fight/flight/ freeze/survival. What he does he says is different to anything else. He  claims he achieves instant dramatic pain reduction. This I  must see!

We are again pleased to welcome Wes and John with the Benefits & Debt Clinic which will be operating Friday afternoon from 3.15pm. Look at their website – for debt and benefits http://frontlinedebtadvice.org.uk/ – you might find it interesting.

As usual there will also be other attractions. On Friday evening we have the film premier of the documentary movie made at FM Conference 2014. Called ‘Focus on Fibromyalgia’ it includes consultants’ comments as well as the views of those who live with this condition. Be sure to see the film as it is a movie you should not miss. Lasting 65 minutes, it is full of information and you will need to go back and back again to the film to see what you missed. Copies of the film will be available to purchase with a donation from sales  to fibro research.

THERE IS MORE

Jen Lee is back with us again for some light relief and with more Belly Dancing steps to learn. We hope to have all doctors on stage Sunday afternoon for discussions and questions. Do not forget the fun auction of wine and other gifts donated by delegates on Monday morning.

Simon Stuart, a leading member of the FibCon team, who works in the medical profession with the elderly, will be giving a talk about Alzheimers – a hot topic at present. You will also meet Nicki Southwell this time. A name some will know, Nicki has been working with Simon and I for several months as Assistant Co-ordinator. We were sorry to lose Teresa White towards the end of last year, due to her health problems. We understand she is on the mend but taking things slowly. We have a great team of helpers this year who will be wearing their pink badges and should be able to help delegates and answer questions.

To join us for some worthwhile education, fun, laughter,  email Simon Stuart at fibcon2015bookings@gmail.com to check availability and book or ring the HOT LINE 0844 887 2512  to book or email jeanne@follypogsfibro.org. to reserve a room and get a booking form.

This conference will be an action packed weekend as usual – Friday to Monday –from April 24th  to 27th  2015 at Chichester Park Hotel, plus evening entertainment, all included for £220 per person sharing double room – just £55 a day all found. This covers the cost of  food, accommodation,  the conference and entertainment. There are no single bookings now only a waiting list. The food is good and the staff are very helpful. The hotel has an indoor pool, jacuzzi, spa and some  exercise equipment for use of our visitors.

STOP PRESS –  We have been offered  a trial run of the new and exciting ActiPatch. We have a patch for each delegate to try.  If it works for you Boots sell the patches which  I believe is  a forerunner of a Electromagnetic Pulse Therapy device which provide 90 hours of 8 hour treatments (720 hours). We only have patches.

ActiPatch is said to be a highly effective therapy by chronic pain individuals and trials have increased purchases. This reflects the result of the reported benefits of clinically significant and sustained decreases in chronic pain, large improvements in quality of life, and decreases in the reliance of analgesic pain medications including opioid based drugs. We have had news from an American FM group where members used the patch and are excited about it. There is only have a limited number of patches for FM delegates only.

Finally it is worth mentioning the weekend conferences are sponsored by Folly Pogs Fibromyalgia Research. Every booking makes a contribution to fibromyalgia research and the raffle and other paid items contribute to FM research. No one gets paid except the bills. We survive under The Old Pal Act 1845. We beg and borrow to make ends meet.

There is always someone to  talk to at conference if you come alone. You will soon make new friends and meet others at our Friday ‘onesie’ meeting for those who are alone.

We hope it will be another smash hit conference with entertainment, fun and laughter with educational and helpful tips. For more information about this and the last conference  –  see http://fibromyalgiaconference.weebly.com. Hope to see you at conference. Jeanne

car anf flag 4

TIME FOR LAUGHTER & SOLUTIONS?

 

It has been a great day where I live – sunshine all day – got the washing dry – so I think I will be reckless and have a laugh. After the football on Thursday I think we really all need a bit of fun following England’s downfall. Pass me the tissues…. I think we need a few giggles.

Let’s start with some unbelievable directions… who wrote these?

Did I read that sign right? Hope you find these funny and that you are in the mood for laughing – if not I can help you fix that later.

TOILET OUT OF ORDER.  PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

(If you insist – but I might get my feet wet…)

 

In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

(That is not much fun in the dark)

 

In a London department store:  BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

(Do we live in an upside down world)

 

In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

(They must have a lot of steps)

 

In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

(I cannot see much work getting done after the tea break – but lots of fun. I might just try that if I can get my left leg performing.)

 

Outside a secondhand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

(My husband would like a new TV… if he lives to turn it on)

 

Notice in health food shop window:  CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

(With all that medicine I bet they are having a day off)

 

 

Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

(We may have to put the back seats down to make more room. Have you seen an elephant driving a car? Hope he packs his trunk for his holidays.)

 

Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

(I always wondered how my pregnancy ended? I have fibro fog too.)

 

Notice in a farmer’s field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

(I wonder what the bull charges – you personally or in pound notes)

 

Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.

(Think you will need a friend to give you a clue)

 

On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR – THE BELL DOESN’T WORK.

(Maybe they should buy a knocker?)

 

MAN KILLS SELF BEFORE SHOOTING WIFE AND DAUGHTER

The person who sent this to me said I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.

(A bit difficult. It would need instant reincarnation me thinks!)

 

SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS

Really? You think so? (A damned clever observation?)

 

POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS

Now that’s taking things a bit far!

 

PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER

What a guy! (That is what I call dedication as a professional.)

 

MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH

(So no home fires burning then)

 

JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT

(Will that work better than a fair trial! It would save time.)

 

WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE

(Someone needs to throw some light on the problems.)

 

IF STRIKE ISN’T SETTLED QUICKLY, IT MAY LAST AWHILE

(Well (There is a surprise. An obvious conclusion eh?)

 

COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES

(Who would have thought it – time to get the thermals out again!)

 

ENFIELD (LONDON) COUPLE SLAIN; POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE

(It could only happen in the States. How can you get slain in the UK?)

 

RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGES

(Is there something stronger than duct tape? I’ll take another route.)

 

MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING: FACES BATTERY CHARGE

(He probably IS the battery charge! Bet it brightened his day.)

 

NEW STUDY OF OBESITY LOOKS FOR LARGER TEST GROUP

(Weren’t they fat enough?)

 

ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT

(That’s what he gets for eating those beans!  Oophs.)

 

KIDS MAKE NUTRITIOUS SNACKS

(Do they taste like chicken? It depends how you cook them?)

 

LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUTS CUT IN HALF

(Chainsaw Massacre all over again! Kids – who’d have ‘em?)

 

HOSPITALS ARE SUED BY 7 FOOT DOCTORS

(Boy, are they tall! Maybe they each wore seven shoes? Sounds alien to me.)

 

And the winner is….

TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETERY; HUNDREDS DEAD

Did I read that right?

(They must have been in the right place at the right time!)

 

Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it is your turn to spread the stupidity and tell someone who you want to smile (maybe even a chuckle). We all need a good laugh, at least once a day. Did you know that laughter gives your body an internal aerobic work out and sharpens everything up with your endorphins etc?

My good friend Lisa Sturges from Laughterlines in Bosham, West Sussex, is an expert in laughter. She can have you in fits and her secret is she is a laughter coach. She has a website, runs classes and will teach you how to laugh at anything.

She has written the article below which I think is especially important to folks with fibromyalgia or those housebound. When you consider the benefits of laughter – no prescription, it is free, no overdose problems and we know laughter is the best medicine – her article might help you laugh a little more and see life in a different light. We all need a few giggles regularly to raise our spirits and keep us smiling

HAS SERIOUSNESS SMOTHERED YOUR SPARK?   

This is by Lisa Sturges – Laughter Lines Coaching

There is no doubt about it; life can feel dreadfully heavy at times. Day to day coping, daily chores, work schedules, team meetings, family responsibilities, it’s no wonder that our ‘joie de vie‘ becomes lost in the swirl of grey fog that can descend on us without us noticing. Then out of the blue one day we might hear someone speaking avidly about a recent experience; ‘Oh and it was such a laugh!’ and we are jolted from the mist with the realization that we have not laughed, not once, for a really long time.

How did life get so serious? Dr. Stuart Brown, director of the Institute of Play in the US has been quoted as saying ‘The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression’.

A serious life need not equate to depression, but it does need examination and careful, kind awareness. If it is months since we have felt a spark of joy, of lightness, of delight, then we need to look closely at our daily habits and ways to see where there is room for playfulness.

Seven indicators that life may be too serious:

  • It has been months since you have enjoyed a good hearty belly laugh.
  • Friends, colleagues and family only talk to you about serious matters and the conversations you have often feel heavy or overly intense.
  • When the kids or your friends start to muck about, play or act silly, your inner critic pulls the plug and you feel distant or removed from the frivolity.
  • You choose the ’sensible’ option when deciding on what to wear and only buy items that are useful and practical.
  • You can’t remember a time when you felt utterly ridiculous or frivolous.
  • When you look at yourself in the mirror you can’t see anything to smile about, even first thing in the morning.
  • You always have a plan.

It is no wonder that life gets becomes grey and colourless at times. We need to be continually kind to ourselves in order to understand that although there might be factors outside of our control currently that are making us feel lost or overly serious. There will also be others that will help us find a path back to feelings of lightness and laughter, if we give ourselves permission.

We cannot be laughing all the time and nor would we want to. We may be doing a serious job, day in day out, or have to handle serious issues at work and at home. We can, however find small, incremental ways of lightening our load with daily mischief, deliberate playfulness and a purposeful intention to live life as lightly as possible, as much as possible.

And the great news is that with awareness and unconditional acceptance, the fog of seriousness can lift, disperse rapidly and surprisingly fast, if we allow it to.

Ten ways to uncover your spark: –

  • Set an intention for small amounts of silliness in your day from the moment you open your eyelids.
  • Use your body and daily routines to have fun and relax – hum your favourite tune cleaning your teeth, pretend to be Beyonce or Travolta in the shower or driving in the car.
  • Change your routines – take a different journey, eat a different breakfast, get out of bed the other side.
  • Play uplifting, upbeat music as often as possible and have fun listening to tracks outside of your normal repertoire.
  • Even when faced with a tedious chore or activity see what you can do to lighten it, pull imaginative faces and imagine it being more fun…no matter how ludicrous, it may give you ideas.
  • Dance. Yes, like no one is watching, and if you are on your own they really can’t…so shimmy on!
  • Stay open to fun, that means being physically, mentally and spiritually ready to play whenever you feel the urge, and even before that! Being playful does not mean we can’t be taken seriously when needed, just that we can enjoy ourselves a bit more along the way.
  • Adopt a cartoon character that epitomizes fun or mischievousness to you and imagine how they would act or behave in the situation. Even if you cannot behave like that due to constraints, have fun fantasising about having fun…it may still make you smile!
  • Use props, bright clothing or toys to add frivolousness to your day. Wonder Woman or Action Man underpants can help with taking ourselves too seriously.in a prominent position where you can see it daily, even if no-one else can.
  • And ALWAYS be kind to yourself when you just don’t feel like lightening up and you choose to stay serious. Making changes only works when they are carried out with loving kindness, understanding and patience.

You may be carrying out a serious, demanding job that takes care and concentration, or work alongside serious colleagues that you don’t feel safe enough to be yourself with. If this is the case, then make time in your time off to let go, move your body playfully and get a lung full of fresh air and fresh perspective, because your body and mind love to play and have fun!

Even if you have had a serious upbringing and feel like you are a ’serious character‘ then know that we all have the capacity for joy and lightness, we just need lots of encouragement! Find others who love to play and act the fool and be with them as much as possible. Allow yourself unexplained moments of spontaneity and wayward daydreams. Imagine yourself playing in the most unlikely of places and the most unlikely of moments.

When we allow ourselves to be joyful, we are opening up to who we really are.

When we have fun, not to entertain anyone else or to show off, but for ourselves alone, it is because we want to feel alive and vibrant. By doing so, we give ourselves a well-deserved break and can throw open out the shutters of other’s expectations and allow clean air in.

“Find out where joy resides, and give it a voice far beyond singing. For to miss out the joy is to miss it all.” Robert Louis Stevenson.

Alan Alda said, “Laugh at yourself, but don’t ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you embark for strange places, don’t leave any of yourself safely on shore. Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory.”

My grateful thanks to Lisa Sturges our Laughterline Coach for allowing me to share t this article but I really believe we need to laugh as often as we possibly can – if only to improve our health and lift our spirits.

Great comments – “Laughterlines Coaching isn’t about the funny one-liners; it is about the lines around our eyes. The unique laughter lines on our face connect us to our most playful self and to others. They signify a life lived to the full.”

Dare I say you may not have wrinkles but you could have laughterlines.  That is my story and I am sticking to it.

Log on to Lisa’s website to learn about The Pocket Book of Laughter – it is a delight.  Lisa is always smiling and happy. Try  http://www.laughterlinescoaching.co.uk

There is also an interesting video and an e book to download. Great site.

If you would like to be one of our Chucklers Anonymous do write and tell me what makes you laugh – jeannehambleton @ me.com. If I share it I will only use your first name unless you say otherwise. . Write soon. Jeanne

 

Join us and send me your chuckles
Join us and send me your chuckles
Waiting to hear from you...
Waiting to hear from you…

Does a Google-Twitter Acquisition Threaten Microsoft, Yahoo?

From the FMS Global and UK News Desk of Jeanne Hambleton

Courtesy of  eWeek.europe.co.uk

By Nicholas Kolakowski  – 

 

 

Google’s rumored possible interest in acquiring Twitter has the online world buzzing, and such a deal would have advantages for both companies. One big question, however, is how a Google acquisition of Twitter would affect Google rivals Microsoft and Yahoo as they attempt to gain market share in the search and online advertising arenas.

The online world has been positively abuzz with news of a potential Google acquisition of Twitter. While the blog TechCrunch has quoted sources as saying such a deal is imminent, others, such as BoomTown, say such talk is the purest speculation.

In either case, however, a big question presents itself: how an acquisition of Twitter by Google would affect Google’s competitors in the search space and online advertising market, most notably Microsoft and Yahoo.

Twitter has been boosting its search capabilities, including transferring its search bar from search.twitter.com to its main website and establishing a “Trends” menu to allow users to see in real time the most talked-about subjects on the site. Any deal between Twitter and Google would bring these capabilities under the search giant’s roof.

At the same time, Google could potentially make use of AdSense on Twitter users’ pages, exposing Twitter users to contextual ads multiple times per day. Twitter’s monetization potential would expand, as the company could receive a substantial percentage of the revenue generated from such ad placements; recently, Twitter has been experimenting with sponsored sites and commercial accounts as ways to generate cash flow. 

But what would such a merger do to Microsoft and Yahoo?

“I would certainly see it as a threat to Microsoft, which really needs to provide a boost to its search engine,” John Byrne, an analyst at Technology Business Research, wrote in an e-mail. “Differentiating by offering superior search around user-generated content and specifically microblogging could be one way for Microsoft to differentiate its search engine and unlock Google’s grip on search.”

Were Twitter already bought, obviously, Microsoft would have to look for another company to fill that void; given Twitter’s current momentum in the microblogging space, that task could present a substantial challenge.

Acquiring Twitter would also help Google’s bottom line (and hurt its competitors) by adding “tremendous stickiness and traffic,” according to Karsten Weide, an analyst with IDC.

“Microblogging is becoming an accepted new channel of online communications in addition to e-mail and instant messaging, and it is here to stay,” Weide said.

“Does [a Twitter acquisition] make sense for Google? They do not really need more audience reach than they already have. But they might need to keep that audience reach out of others’ hands. Microsoft and Yahoo come to mind.”

Given the relatively low amount of revenue that Twitter generates at this point, however, Weide said he feels it would be prudent for Google to pay as little as it possibly can. 

“I think an acquisition would make sense, and if they can get it for less than [$1 billion], the better it is,” Weide said.

This contrasts with the view of a number of business pundits online, who have been urging Google to snatch up Twitter no matter the dollar amount required.

As for the potential success of AdSense placed on Twitter feeds, Weide pointed to the former’s presence on MySpace, which generates substantial guaranteed revenues for the social networking site but has not been contributing mightily to Google’s bottom line. 

“I doubt [ads on Twitter] would do any better than on MySpace,” Weide said. 

In other words, although Yahoo and Microsoft could certainly use a microblogging aspect to gain a search advantage, acquiring Twitter might not be the coup de grace that Google needs in order to establish search engine dominance.

Microsoft’s deal with ExecTweets, though, shows that Microsoft has an interest in engaging with microblogging as a tool in its online strategy. And should that interest allow Twitter to lever a few more dollars out of Google in any possible deal, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer probably would not complain.

 

Copyright ©1996-2009 Ziff Davis Enterprise Holdings Inc. All Rights Reserved.

(http://www.eweek.com/c/a/Search-Engines/Does-a-Google-Twitter-Acquisition-Threaten-Microsoft-Yahoo-596423/)

 

MORE IT NEWS: For news of US  April 1st Cyber Security Bill allowing the President to close down the Internet, log on to   http://fmsglobalnews.wordpress.com  – see link

FEBRUARY 14, KISSING, FAST SWIMMING SPERM & FLU JABS.

By Jeanne Hambleton © 2009

 

Somehow this auspicious ‘ladies day’, February 14th, St Valentines Day, passed me by last year. Between you and I there was not a deluge of cards on the doormat, so it was a ‘back to normal’ day… same old drudge. Instead I got carried away about February 29 with the most readers I have had to date on this weblog.

 

Wondering if I might reach some of you young lovers – well maybe all lovers –who might be looking for love – I thought I would write something  relevant again. 

 

KISSING

I have just read about a website that advocates kissing instead of shaking hands as this spreads more germs. So no need to stand on ceremony tonight then!

 

Someone asked Yahoo how long does it take for the germs from kissing someone to leave your mouth? I heard it was months?

 

The reply they got is great in theory but in a mad passionate moment when a girl wants to get her tongue down someone’s throat I do not see her asking any questions about his personal hygiene – namely his teeth.  Read this.

 

It depends on the germ, whether it is one that will quickly absorb into the mucus membranes of the mouth and how long it has been in your mouth. These membranes are constantly shedding cells.

 

You should only be kissing someone you know has good hygiene to avoid basic germs. The person must also see a dentist regularly–you don’t want to kiss someone with rotten teeth/bleeding gums and other dental problems. Don’t forget mononucleosis the kissing disease.

Might be an idea  to  look at this  website before you get carried away with your tongue. Grab the mouth wash! 

http://www.medicinenet.com/infectious_mononucleosis/article.htm

May be better to shake hands after all said she, tongue in cheek…..he he he. 

 

But for serious germs, you should know the person and whether they have something like HIV. Then it depends on how long it is in contact with the lining of your mouth (mucus membranes).

 

I don’t think studies have been done as to how long the contact has to be but it is certainly not as long as 3 months to leave. It is true that HIV may stay on hard surfaces for as long as 3 months.

 

HIV can be contracted from ANY body fluid and that includes spit. It is just more likely to contract it through the blood. Keep that in mind. Otherwise, rinse/spit with listerine as others suggest.

Pardon me while I  nip in the bathroom to rinse and spit…..

 

You sound as if you are worried about this person’s Hygiene. My son girlfriend will not kiss him unless he brushes and rinses at most twice a day and especially before their date.

 Not sure I can comment on that!  Sounds more like an old married couple. Maybe the following piece of priceless information will put you the mood for love…….

 

FAST SWIMMING SPERMS 

 

Would that be doing the breaststroke? But seriously I thought I should share this piece of news with you that came to light last month.   Published by on January 22  MedicalNewsToday.com (Articles: 136272. – how romantic) under the Biology / Biochemistry Main Category, with the heading Sexual Health / STDs (this is more interesting) it educates us on the life of fast-swimming sperms.

 

All I can say is if you ladies have any reproduction plans, now is the time for role-play. The ball is in your court as they say. Please read about what they have been up to at Uppsala University! I thought it was quite an apt name for what they are doing.

 

Until now, it has been difficult to prove that fast-swimming sperms have an advantage when it comes to fertilizing an egg. But now a research team at Uppsala University can demonstrate that unfaithful females of the cichlid fish species influence the males’ sperms. Increased competition leads to both faster and larger sperms, and the research findings now being published in the scientific journal PNAS, Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, thus show that the much mythologized size factor does indeed count.

 

“The competition among sperms to fertilize a female’s eggs is an extremely powerful evolutionary force that influences various characteristics of sperms, such as size and speed,” says Niclas Kolm, a researcher at Uppsala University, who, in collaboration with scientists from several other universities, has studied the mating system of 29 species of Tanganyika cichlids. “For the first time, we can show a strong link between the degree of sperm competition and the size and speed of the sperms. Males with promiscuous females develop faster and larger sperms than the monogamous species,” says Niclas.

 

“Another unique aspect of the study is that we based our study on an unusually large base, with many fish from many different species. The fish were caught in lakes in Africa, and a special characteristic of this group of fishes is that there are incredible numbers of species,” says Niclas. “There’s an unbelievable variety of species and different kinds of mating behaviors. There’s the whole spectrum of mating systems, from monogamous males to females that mate with many many males.”

 

The findings also show that the speed and the size of sperms are closely related: larger sperms are faster. These sperms swim faster thanks to the greater power of a larger flagellum, but faster sperms also need to have a larger store of energy, which in turn results in larger sperms.

 

Thanks to new analytical methods, they have also managed to demonstrate the order of this development. The sperms first become faster, then larger, following increased female promiscuity in a species.

 

“No one has previously been able to show what causes what. Here we can clearly see that female promiscuity determines the character of sperms,” says Niclas.

 

So I wonder can we expect an increase in the birthrate in November with lots of little ‘Scorpions’ appearing and the midwives rushed off their feet.

 

Come to think of it, I was born November 14. …err..  ooophs.. Does that mean I may have been conceived on February 14. This did not dawn on me before.

 

Of course the big problem is, who knows what goes on in a man’s mind while he is making love to you?  He may already be thinking about promiscuous women or might already be dreaming he is cosying up to Marilyn Monroe or one of The Girls Aloud.  If you think those little devils are getting up speed, let him think what he wants for once.

 

Make the most of it girls – you could have a long time to wait for the right moment again.

 

 

Fast swimming sperms:

Article adapted by Medical News Today from original press release.

(http://www.medicalnewstoday.com)

 

Kissing sources:

http://www.videosift.com/video/Dont-Shake-Hands-It-Spreads-Germs-More-Than-Kissing

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081012114208AAbqVCg

 

BETTER THAN A FLU JAB

 

As laughter is the best medicine and we are talking about things of a sexual nature, I received this email from a friend yesterday, and I laughed until I cried and the tears rolled down my cheeks and into my slippers – sodden slippers.  

Please take this in the good natured spirit in which it is offered… really no offence meant to any lady called Beatrice, elderly spinisters, church organists, Hammond organs, or young ministers. There I am apologising in advance to any PC folk – I could not face clink I  hate porridge without cream and sugar. I found it funny but then I do have a distorted sense of humour. So it is publish and be damned as  said by Arthur Wellesley, Duke of Wellington.

Enjoy.

 


Better than a Flu Shot! Miss Beatrice, The church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.

‘Miss Beatrice’, he said, ‘I wonder if you would tell me about this?’ Pointing to the bowl.

‘Oh, yes,’ she replied, ‘Isn’t it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven’t had the flu all winter.’ If you don’t share this with five GOOD friends there will be five fewer people smiling in the world .

Now you see my predicament – I just had to share it and hope five people might read it and smile. Talk soon Jeanne 

 

MORE FIBRO WHAT?

As America declares fibromyalgia is reaching epidemic proportions, more super mums, workaholics, perfectionists are wondering if they have this mystery disease, which doctors fail to recognise. It is known that two percent of the UK population (around two million) have been diagnosed but it is thought a further ten percent are undiagnosed and wondering what ails them.

 

A recent global fibromyalgia survey supported by the European Network of Fibromyalgia Association revealed that 75 percent of physicians worldwide were failing to recognise the fibromyalgia symptoms due to lack of training in this syndrome.  Those suffering with this condition are now offering to talk to groups of doctors and medical students, offering themselves as ‘expert patients’ ready to answer questions about their condition, medication and life style.

 

Women looking after a family, their home and juggling with a career, with men facing mortgage repossessions, redundancy, crucial career prospects and stress over load are prime targets for this invisible disability.

 

“There is a total lack of awareness about fibromyalgia. Everyone says fibro what?

It can take years for a diagnosis, which is achieved through a process of elimination. Blood tests show no markers. Scans and x-rays reveal no inflammation where it hurts. After years of pain those suffering with fibromyalgia are glad to have a name for their condition until they realise the pain will never stop,” said Jeanne Hambleton, a National Fibromyalgia Association Leader Against Pain working with the Fibromyalgia Association UK. .

 

“The lack of government funding for research to find a cure is of great concern to   fibromites who live with pain 24/7, suffer stiffness, stumbling, chronic fatigue, sleep disorders, IBS, forget their best friend’s name and lots of other ‘nasties’. Faced with the facts that no-one knows about fibromyalgia and there is no-one for these people in pain to talk to, we felt we had to do something to help this situation in case it reaches epidemic proportions here in the UK,” she said. 

 

Sarah Owen, a yoga teacher, from Chichester and Jeanne Hambleton from the Witterings, UK, have now started a new support group meeting with monthly lunches at The Selsey Tram. Anyone who has or thinks they may have fibromyalgia is welcome to join the lunch guests. The next one is Thursday (September 18).

 

The big topic for fibromites at present is the Folly Pogs Ball and charity auction on Friday September 12 at the Chichester Park Hotel. This is organised by the support group, to raise money for research. With a motto of “Laughter is the best medicine”, the evening is devoted to mirth, merriment, laughter and fun with a comedy cabaret.

 

“If you do not go home with your ribs aching, I will need to know the reason why,” said Jeanne Hambleton who is expecting several Page 3 girls to add some interest and glamour to the evening.

 

“I will be wearing sack cloth and ashes – no point buying a new dress – who will be looking at me,” she laughed. 

 

“Just buying a ticket for the Ball may bring us one step nearer to a cure so we can do our own housework and play with our children like normal people. To support the idea that laughter is the best medicine there is an award winning comedy cabaret Dominic Collins, seen on the Blackpool circuits, charity auction and prizes for fancy dress, the daftest dickie bow and the funniest joke told by a guest with dinner and dancing. Forget the credit crunch and join us for some fun,” she said.

 

To discuss fibromyalgia or the Folly Pogs Ball telephone helpline 0845 345 5942 or email jeannehambleton@mac.com or sarah.owen7@virgin.net

FIRST UK FIBROMYALGIA CD RAISES RESEARCH FUNDS


by Jeanne Hambleton © 2008 – International Advocate – NFA Leader Against Pain

 

 

It is a first! A new single CD called Fibro What? is being launched next month to raise funds for research in the hope it may lead to a cure for the invisible disability, fibromyalgia.

 

The new upbeat tune is written and sung by comedy songwriter Dom Collins, who has a dear friend with fibromyalgia. The CD is supported by three lighthearted songs, based on the belief that laughter is the best medicine.

 

The tracks with three of them a bit tongue in cheek, include Fibro What? A girl called Chips, Does my arse look big in these? Can you lend me a tenner please Dad?

 

A Comedy Songwriter Of The Year, Dom Collins, a Manchester lad whose day job is a ‘postie’, always receives great reviews and writes about what he knows – day to day events – and guarantees no bad language. This cheeky Mancunion, a City supporter, who follows in the footsteps of George Formby, Mike Harding, Bob Williamson and Richard Digance, claims he will attend any private function including divorces, vasectomies, as well as coming out of or going into prison.

 

Always ready for a laugh his reviews include

 

  • Folk say “We have heard nothing like that since Mike Harding” and that’s nice innit!?!

 

  • “They would have kept you on stage for another two hours if we had let them.”

 

·       “Baring infernal intervention, this lad is gonna be bloody big!! I mean he is going all the way” – CD Review From Chorlton Folk Club

 

Although the four track singles CD will be available next month, it is hoped that fibromites everywhere will purchase a copy to support research to play on May 12 the International Fibromyalgia Awareness Day, at their coffee mornings or other awareness events.

 

Dom’s friend, Chris Thomson who has fibromyalgia, said, “Dom has done other charity work and I knew he would help if he could. He has done a great job and we are proud of him. I have seen him on stage and he had me in stitches.”

 

To read more about Dom log on to  www.domcollins.co.uk   

 

For more information about the availability of the four track singles CD called Fibro What? Please email me at jeannehambleton@mac.com