It has been a great day where I live – sunshine all day – got the washing dry – so I think I will be reckless and have a laugh. After the football on Thursday I think we really all need a bit of fun following England’s downfall. Pass me the tissues…. I think we need a few giggles.
Let’s start with some unbelievable directions… who wrote these?
Did I read that sign right? Hope you find these funny and that you are in the mood for laughing – if not I can help you fix that later.
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
(If you insist – but I might get my feet wet…)
In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
(That is not much fun in the dark)
In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
(Do we live in an upside down world)
In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
(They must have a lot of steps)
In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
(I cannot see much work getting done after the tea break – but lots of fun. I might just try that if I can get my left leg performing.)
Outside a secondhand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
(My husband would like a new TV… if he lives to turn it on)
Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
(With all that medicine I bet they are having a day off)
Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
(We may have to put the back seats down to make more room. Have you seen an elephant driving a car? Hope he packs his trunk for his holidays.)
Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
(I always wondered how my pregnancy ended? I have fibro fog too.)
Notice in a farmer’s field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
(I wonder what the bull charges – you personally or in pound notes)
Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.
(Think you will need a friend to give you a clue)
On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR – THE BELL DOESN’T WORK.
(Maybe they should buy a knocker?)
MAN KILLS SELF BEFORE SHOOTING WIFE AND DAUGHTER
The person who sent this to me said I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.
(A bit difficult. It would need instant reincarnation me thinks!)
SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS
Really? You think so? (A damned clever observation?)
POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS
Now that’s taking things a bit far!
PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER
What a guy! (That is what I call dedication as a professional.)
MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH
(So no home fires burning then)
JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT
(Will that work better than a fair trial! It would save time.)
WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE
(Someone needs to throw some light on the problems.)
IF STRIKE ISN’T SETTLED QUICKLY, IT MAY LAST AWHILE
(Well (There is a surprise. An obvious conclusion eh?)
COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES
(Who would have thought it – time to get the thermals out again!)
ENFIELD (LONDON) COUPLE SLAIN; POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE
(It could only happen in the States. How can you get slain in the UK?)
RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGES
(Is there something stronger than duct tape? I’ll take another route.)
MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING: FACES BATTERY CHARGE
(He probably IS the battery charge! Bet it brightened his day.)
NEW STUDY OF OBESITY LOOKS FOR LARGER TEST GROUP
(Weren’t they fat enough?)
ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT
(That’s what he gets for eating those beans! Oophs.)
KIDS MAKE NUTRITIOUS SNACKS
(Do they taste like chicken? It depends how you cook them?)
LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUTS CUT IN HALF
(Chainsaw Massacre all over again! Kids – who’d have ‘em?)
HOSPITALS ARE SUED BY 7 FOOT DOCTORS
(Boy, are they tall! Maybe they each wore seven shoes? Sounds alien to me.)
And the winner is….
TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETERY; HUNDREDS DEAD
Did I read that right?
(They must have been in the right place at the right time!)
Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it is your turn to spread the stupidity and tell someone who you want to smile (maybe even a chuckle). We all need a good laugh, at least once a day. Did you know that laughter gives your body an internal aerobic work out and sharpens everything up with your endorphins etc?
My good friend Lisa Sturges from Laughterlines in Bosham, West Sussex, is an expert in laughter. She can have you in fits and her secret is she is a laughter coach. She has a website, runs classes and will teach you how to laugh at anything.
She has written the article below which I think is especially important to folks with fibromyalgia or those housebound. When you consider the benefits of laughter – no prescription, it is free, no overdose problems and we know laughter is the best medicine – her article might help you laugh a little more and see life in a different light. We all need a few giggles regularly to raise our spirits and keep us smiling
HAS SERIOUSNESS SMOTHERED YOUR SPARK?
This is by Lisa Sturges – Laughter Lines Coaching
There is no doubt about it; life can feel dreadfully heavy at times. Day to day coping, daily chores, work schedules, team meetings, family responsibilities, it’s no wonder that our ‘joie de vie‘ becomes lost in the swirl of grey fog that can descend on us without us noticing. Then out of the blue one day we might hear someone speaking avidly about a recent experience; ‘Oh and it was such a laugh!’ and we are jolted from the mist with the realization that we have not laughed, not once, for a really long time.
How did life get so serious? Dr. Stuart Brown, director of the Institute of Play in the US has been quoted as saying ‘The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression’.
A serious life need not equate to depression, but it does need examination and careful, kind awareness. If it is months since we have felt a spark of joy, of lightness, of delight, then we need to look closely at our daily habits and ways to see where there is room for playfulness.
Seven indicators that life may be too serious:
- It has been months since you have enjoyed a good hearty belly laugh.
- Friends, colleagues and family only talk to you about serious matters and the conversations you have often feel heavy or overly intense.
- When the kids or your friends start to muck about, play or act silly, your inner critic pulls the plug and you feel distant or removed from the frivolity.
- You choose the ’sensible’ option when deciding on what to wear and only buy items that are useful and practical.
- You can’t remember a time when you felt utterly ridiculous or frivolous.
- When you look at yourself in the mirror you can’t see anything to smile about, even first thing in the morning.
- You always have a plan.
It is no wonder that life gets becomes grey and colourless at times. We need to be continually kind to ourselves in order to understand that although there might be factors outside of our control currently that are making us feel lost or overly serious. There will also be others that will help us find a path back to feelings of lightness and laughter, if we give ourselves permission.
We cannot be laughing all the time and nor would we want to. We may be doing a serious job, day in day out, or have to handle serious issues at work and at home. We can, however find small, incremental ways of lightening our load with daily mischief, deliberate playfulness and a purposeful intention to live life as lightly as possible, as much as possible.
And the great news is that with awareness and unconditional acceptance, the fog of seriousness can lift, disperse rapidly and surprisingly fast, if we allow it to.
Ten ways to uncover your spark: –
- Set an intention for small amounts of silliness in your day from the moment you open your eyelids.
- Use your body and daily routines to have fun and relax – hum your favourite tune cleaning your teeth, pretend to be Beyonce or Travolta in the shower or driving in the car.
- Change your routines – take a different journey, eat a different breakfast, get out of bed the other side.
- Play uplifting, upbeat music as often as possible and have fun listening to tracks outside of your normal repertoire.
- Even when faced with a tedious chore or activity see what you can do to lighten it, pull imaginative faces and imagine it being more fun…no matter how ludicrous, it may give you ideas.
- Dance. Yes, like no one is watching, and if you are on your own they really can’t…so shimmy on!
- Stay open to fun, that means being physically, mentally and spiritually ready to play whenever you feel the urge, and even before that! Being playful does not mean we can’t be taken seriously when needed, just that we can enjoy ourselves a bit more along the way.
- Adopt a cartoon character that epitomizes fun or mischievousness to you and imagine how they would act or behave in the situation. Even if you cannot behave like that due to constraints, have fun fantasising about having fun…it may still make you smile!
- Use props, bright clothing or toys to add frivolousness to your day. Wonder Woman or Action Man underpants can help with taking ourselves too seriously.in a prominent position where you can see it daily, even if no-one else can.
- And ALWAYS be kind to yourself when you just don’t feel like lightening up and you choose to stay serious. Making changes only works when they are carried out with loving kindness, understanding and patience.
You may be carrying out a serious, demanding job that takes care and concentration, or work alongside serious colleagues that you don’t feel safe enough to be yourself with. If this is the case, then make time in your time off to let go, move your body playfully and get a lung full of fresh air and fresh perspective, because your body and mind love to play and have fun!
Even if you have had a serious upbringing and feel like you are a ’serious character‘ then know that we all have the capacity for joy and lightness, we just need lots of encouragement! Find others who love to play and act the fool and be with them as much as possible. Allow yourself unexplained moments of spontaneity and wayward daydreams. Imagine yourself playing in the most unlikely of places and the most unlikely of moments.
When we allow ourselves to be joyful, we are opening up to who we really are.
When we have fun, not to entertain anyone else or to show off, but for ourselves alone, it is because we want to feel alive and vibrant. By doing so, we give ourselves a well-deserved break and can throw open out the shutters of other’s expectations and allow clean air in.
“Find out where joy resides, and give it a voice far beyond singing. For to miss out the joy is to miss it all.” Robert Louis Stevenson.
Alan Alda said, “Laugh at yourself, but don’t ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you embark for strange places, don’t leave any of yourself safely on shore. Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory.”
My grateful thanks to Lisa Sturges our Laughterline Coach for allowing me to share t this article but I really believe we need to laugh as often as we possibly can – if only to improve our health and lift our spirits.
Great comments – “Laughterlines Coaching isn’t about the funny one-liners; it is about the lines around our eyes. The unique laughter lines on our face connect us to our most playful self and to others. They signify a life lived to the full.”
Dare I say you may not have wrinkles but you could have laughterlines. That is my story and I am sticking to it.
Log on to Lisa’s website to learn about The Pocket Book of Laughter – it is a delight. Lisa is always smiling and happy. Try http://www.laughterlinescoaching.co.uk
There is also an interesting video and an e book to download. Great site.
If you would like to be one of our Chucklers Anonymous do write and tell me what makes you laugh – jeannehambleton @ me.com. If I share it I will only use your first name unless you say otherwise. . Write soon. Jeanne