I guess I should come ‘out of the closet’ and admit in principle the “cosy bit” is true. My computer – well my Apple Mac-tilda – and I are almost inseparable but not quite joined at the hip. She hates that name Mac-tilda. She says it is too old fashioned and is all in favour of a unisex name like Mackey so she can be like the young set. She is getting on a bit now and had a hard life with me bashing away like a manic journalist all the time. Sadly I type as I think and boy can I think fast sometimes. It is then she cannot spell…

Although we are close, well almost partners, we do not share the same bed. I draw a line at mixing business with pleasure or even sleeping together. She is happy to sleep (if she does do that) in the office but Mac-tilda is always uploading or downloading something. She is often churning away in the middle of night tidying up the files and messing about. She does not have airbags so it would be highly dangerous, to say the least, to fall asleep in front of her – almost a disaster. Two lovely black eyes would not be the half of it.

But my Mac-tilda can be a bitch at times – a proper diva, crashing around and losing things. To keep her sweet I call her Missy Mac-tilda and. I am sure she has all my symptoms of fibromyalgia – headaches, always wide awake, crashes, so slow first thing in the morning, ponders and suffers from fibro fog…she certainly cannot remember how to spell.

I also think she has an addiction. I will whisper it quietly as she is a bit touchy about it. She loves ink – any colour but especially red. It is a bit worrying really. I think she drinks it when I am asleep. I could only find a PC Doc to help and he was not much use. He suggested buying bigger packs of ink. All I can say is it is not me using all the ink. Someone not too far away must be responsible or the little plastic boxes are getting smaller every time. Maybe the ink is evaporating but that is unlikely. It is Missy MT again playing tricks. .

I am faced with this ink drinking situation with Missy Mac-tilda and I do not want a confrontation with her. I might lose all my files if she is angry. I am doing what a lot of emails tell me to do – not printing emails on paper and ‘saving trees’ – but they don’t say how to eliminate Missy Mac-tilda’s addiction to ink when saving trees.

But Mac-tilda took it upon herself to invite a few friends for “inks” at my expense. But someone really was a not well and shared a virus with everyone. The party got lively then with lots of accusations and things thrown around and the poor mouse that was invited has no idea what had hit him. Then the fun began when the owners turned up.   You should have heard the bad language – sure it was html – sounded nasty but a bit beyond me.

Then Mac-tilda threw a wobbly in the bathroom ……. I thought she was going to end it all. But after her friends had left and a flood of tears we were old buddies again. I even agreed to call her Mackey to keep the peace. It was like old times and we are going to give it another try. She does not know it but I am going to buy some of the fake ink and hope she does not like this as much. Hopefully this will help her manage her ink-drinking addition.

I am glad that all is well that ends well but she insists she is not an addict.

Back soon Jeanne









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